Cougars

Life is full of contradictions. Some of you may view this as one of those times. I recently wrote about dirty old men. I firmly believe no man should date a girl young enough to be his daughter. Specifically, no more than 10yrs younger. Well, here are my thoughts on Cougars…

A woman can f*ck any guy old enough to get it up. Yeah, I said it! You may think I’m being hypocritical. Ummm…not so much as maybe a little sexist, but in a good way. I dated a Cougar – it was f*cking great!!! I was 21 and she was 36. Damn! I’m getting aroused just thinking about the things she did.

Now, this was before Demi and others made being a Cougar fashionable. She was divorced like most Cougars. We never went out on dates - just BOOTY CALLS. That was my call. She wanted to date, but I wasn’t comfortable with that. Once, she invited me out for a day with she and her kids. I made up an excuse why I couldn’t go. I could just imagine people thinking I was one of her kids.

I’ve always been attracted to older women. My first girldfriend was older. I love the maturity of an older woman. They know what they want, especially in bed. They have shit to do just like you and they don’t have time to f*ck around. I think ALL men appreciate that. Fellas, if you haven’t tasted a Cougar – or better yet, let a Cougar taste you…give it a go. I promise you’ll ENJOY it!

In the category of What’s Hot? What’s Not? Cougars are definitely HOT!!!

Mammas: Don’t Let Your Girls Grow Up To Be Hoochies

Is it TV? The internet? Magazines? Who and where are the worst role models for your girls???

I say at home – their MOTHERS! While the celebrities make it fashionable and entertainment and media put it out there…you Moms are buying into this shit! Not that I’m letting Dads off the hook. But Mom – you have to set the standard.

My daughter’s girlfriends had “boyfriends” at 11yrs old. What the F*CK is that about???!!! I see you buying them clothes that are way too mature for them – you drop them off at the mall – and they’ve had cell phones since pre-school. The have access to everything and no limitations. WHAT are you doing people? Do your f*cking job – take some responsibility in raising your kids and stop letting media do it! BTW – my kids have never heard me curse. And Moms you should never let your daughters see your thong. Be a respectable and responsible MILF.

For the rest of you – keep your hoochies away from my daughter! I don’t need that shit in my life…

Be My Girlfriend Forever

How many times has it been said, “she stopped doing the things she used to do before we were married”?

Listen ladies – just because you get married, it doesn’t mean you have to become a wife. At least not in the stereotypical sense. You know the stereotype…tired all the f*cking time, faking headaches, too f*cking lazy and too “good” now to give your f*cking husband a f*cking blowjob!

Take some friendly advice and stay a girlfriend forever! Girlfriends f*ck you in the car. Girlfriends walk up behind you and grab your dick. Girlfriends give you head in the shower!!! BTW – if you need any guidance on that subject check out one of my new fav blogs  http://sexconfessions69.wordpress.com/2009/01/16/sexperience-1-the-blowjob-sessions-part-1/ 

Shout out to SC69!!! She should get a Nobel Peace Prize for her work in this area. You can bring peace to the Middle East using her suggestions. You’ll definitely keep your husband from spending so many “late nights at the office” or taking all those “business trips”. Ladies, you want to stay married? Stay a GIRLFRIEND!

Dirty Old Men

How old is too old? I’m watching Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC) the other day.  Side note: That “C” should probably stand for something else. That chick Gretchen is dating a man nearly her father’s age. I find that absolutely disgusting! My daughter will never be allowed to date a man my age…I forbid it!!! Fair warning to all seekers.

Look, I understand the lure of hot, young p***y, but a 10yr difference is as low as a man should go. And that’s with a minimum age limit of 30 for the woman. By 30, most women have learned the hard lessons of playing diva and begin to understand time is running out. The few good ones left “make” the opportunity to connect with real men, the bitches stay bitches and end up lonely bitches for life…and then you have the Gold Diggers like Gretchen.

Though it takes two to make a thing this repulsive, I beg the question who’s to blame? Gretchen or “whats-his-face”? I say the dirty old man. And he should be ashamed of himself.

Now what about Cougars? Stay tuned…